When I was about 12, I used to sit in my mom's office and write raps on her Macintosh. I recently found all 6 of them, and would like to post them here. I'm leaving all of the grammar, bad spelling and things of that nature intact. Keep in mind however, that had it not been for me, there would be no Eminem, as I'm sure he got his inspiration from me.
And now, "My Name Is M.C. Smooth":
I got this rhyme that I want to share if you dont want to listen then I dont care. My name is M.C. Smooth I ain't got a lot of fame but when my rhyme is done you'll remember this name.
I'm not like those other rappers who think they're king I just pump the funky beat and then I sing, to the lyrics, that I compose, so pick up your toes and let the people know that you can dance, don't stand there and stare, do the freak and move your hands in the air.
I don't claim Compton or San Quinton the place where I'm from is a a place that ain't trippin'. Fremont California thats where I'm from, it's where the guys are big and the girlies get dumb. If you're one of those girlies who smoke dope or rock, then I better not see you on my block.
I don't like to swear and I don't like to fight but I'll warn you don't get me started when I'm on the mic. I'm the one, who gets the job done, not number two, but number one. If you want my number here are the digits 770 and thats all I givin'.
I'm not a byter or a capper my name is M.C. Smooth and you can simply call me a rookie rapper. Rookie not meanin' learnin' this style, just like rap I'll be here for a while.
This happens to be my debut song, I promise to have alot more like this not before long. If you didn't like my song I ain't gonna' dread, the truth really is your sick in the head.
Right now I ain't got a lot of money but when I'm through I bet you'll be callin' me honey. But I don't want to be tied down, not at this time so please don't ask if you could be mine.
My lyrics are so fresh it makes your rap look like a filthy mess. If you want to compete don't be shy but you know when I'm through you'll be cut and dry.
Right now it's about time to get off this stage and let another rapper turn the rap page. But don't forget that I'll be back to start up another rap attack. I'm out of here.
When I got home from my moms (after spending a few days there for Thanksgiving) I got a bright idea. I was hungry, and wanted some of that good ol' leftover turkey and mashed potatoes. But as I was getting the leftovers out of the bag I had the most RANDOM thought ever. I wondered what microwaving an old cell phone would look like. I know, not the brightest thing I've ever thought of or attempted, but still, it begged to be answered. I was really curious to see what would happen. So I made sure Kayla and Brielle were WAY out of sight and I got my old cell phone from upstairs in my drawer. Unfortunately, it was dead, so I had to wait in agony as I charged it for about a half hour to make sure it would have enough juice to stay on for a bit. After it was done charging, I whipped out my video camera and made this little video. Enjoy.
1. Nicki and I went to Carl's Jr. tonight and I ordered a number 5. Apparently I was under some sort of voodoo curse, and did not realize that a number 5 is in fact a chili-cheeseburger. WHO IN THE H ORDERS A CHILI CHEESEBURGER? I mean really. I totally understand the concept of a chili dog, but I don't understand, at all, why someone would want a chili cheeseburger. As soon as I opened it, I was disgusted. So much so, that I'm not going to eat the rest of the night now. I'm boycotting food because of the sheer disgustingness of the chili cheeseburger. Gross. Last time I checked, I wasn't at Weinerschnitzel. Carl's Jr. shouldn't even have CHILI on their menu. CHILI'S doesn't even have Chili on their menu. I'm irritated.
2. I got accepted to go to Tanzania! I will be gone for 3 weeks this summer. I hate flying, loathe traveling, not fond of working with my hands, dreading getting 21 shots for various diseases before I leave, and I get sad when I think about leaving my family for 3 weeks. However, I really feel called and led to go to Africa to serve those kids and families with my incredible acting skills (because part of the mission is doing some drama's in a Vacation Bible School setting) and helping them build things in their village. I kinda feel like Gary from Team America: World Police. "We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and Tommy jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all."
3. School is going great. I'm doing well in all of my classes, and every day I am learning incredible amounts about Jesus, God, Christianity, the Bible, religion, philosophy, preaching, the church and other things. I'm also getting an idea in my head about exactly how and what type of preacher I'm going to be. Which is good because the sooner I can figure that out, the more I can focus on really honing that skill. I am looking forward to the end of the semester in a few weeks though. I'm about DONE writing papers right now. If I hear "APA" one more time from any of my teachers, I'm going to crack someone's skull.
4. I have my second interview at school on Wednesday for a position in the IT Department at William Jessup (my school). It shouldn't be too many hours, but it will definitely help us out financially. Nicki is switching practices (finally) to one closer to home with a guy she went to school with who went on one date with my sister back in the day. He's a great guy, and Nicki thinks "this is it". I hope she was talking about the practice, and not him. Hmmmm. I think I'll ask her to clarify.
5. I downloaded the HD version of The Dark Knight on Saturday. Six scenes (roughly 15 minutes) were shot with IMAX cameras. Now normally when you watch an HD movie on an HD TV, there are still those black lines above and below the picture. But those 6 IMAX scenes filled ever last pixel of my 61" TV. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and that's including the birth of my two daughters. It was the most HD my HD TV has ever looked. I can't wait to buy the actual Blu Ray, as I know it will look even better. So Dear Hollywood, PLEASE film movies in IMAX from now on because it looks absolutely incredible on an HD TV. Yours truly, Ricky.
6. Finally, I found out today that a very good high school friend of mine, Emily Stofle, is engaged to director/producer David Lynch. Emily and I were bff's for basically my entire junior year. We were really close. Then it faded a little senior year, and when we graduated, I never heard from her again. She won't even accept my facebook or myspace friend request. Maybe because I'm a dork? Maybe she's too cool for school? Maybe because we never dated and she always wanted to? In any case, she moved to Los Angeles, got some small roles in small movies, and that's how she met David. By the way, did I mention that she's 30 and he's 62?? Awwwwwwwkwwwwwarrrrrrdddddd.
7. I'll be 31 in two weeks. Officially "in my 30's" at that point. And that's all I have to say about that, Lieutenant Dan.
Going through old boxes, finding old photos, old memories, etc. Today I found this letter from one of the kids at the Adolescent Center I worked at in 2003. I can't make out the signature, so I don't even know which kid wrote it, but it made me feel good today when I read it. That was the hardest job I've ever had, because I truly loved those kids, and hated having to try and help them in an environment that was run by a bunch of complete f*&%$ng morons that didn't know the first thing about truly making a difference in a child's life, let alone giving them the tools they needed to get better.
I especially like the P.S. of the letter though. :)
(I'm not editing spelling or grammar)
Ricky, you are the most awsome staff ever at Stars. Every client at Stars will miss you and your funny self. Sometimes just being a supportive friend to us kids makes all the difference in our lives. Thanx for the hat, and letting me A.W.O.L. last tuesday. I hope you get your new job on TV so I can tell everyone I know you and you gave me my hat. Oh, by the way my dad. likes the hat, more than my mohawk! It's really too bad that Stars is closing because I'm gonna miss waking up to your nonsense tuesday - saturday every week. Oh, well, I'll keep in touch. GOOD LUCK!
MacGyver places a stick through the trigger of an AK-47 and hangs it from a tree with a piece of string. He then attaches a paper match packet to the string and lights the matches, using them as a time delay. The AK-47 falls to the ground with the stick still attached to the trigger, causing the AK to fire and distract some guards.
He also makes a "Rocket Thruster" by hitting the end of a flare gun with a rock to make the nozzle thinner, launching him and a man he rescues from a mountain. Not only would the thrust produced from a gun of that size be unable to lift the weight of two human beings, flare guns fire projectiles. The more realistic result would be a jam at the end of the gun, much like if you bent the barrel of a normal gun.
When near a deadly laser grid, MacGyver lights a pack of cigarettes to make the lasers visible. He then smashes a pair of binoculars, removing a prism to deflect a laser beam back to the emitter, destroying it.
To help rescue a group of people trapped in a building, he ties a fire hose shut, places it under a girder in the way, and turns on the water. Using the water pressure to lift the girder, he pushes it out of the way.
MacGyver creates a bomb to open a door using a gelatin cold capsule containing sodium metal, which he then places in a glass container filled with water. When the gelatin dissolves in the water, the sodium reacts violently with the water and causes an explosion which blows a hole in the wall. ("MythBusters" questioned the size of the explosion but verified that pure sodium does cause an exothermic reaction when mixed with water. However, the amount of sodium required to destroy a concrete wall would greatly exceed the size of a cold pill.)
MacGyver uses the main lighting power switch to transmit morse code to the surface.
Last night as I was falling asleep, taking in the results of the election, it occured to me that I didn't recall Barack Obama mentioning God in his thank you speech. (apart from the VERY end when he said "God Bless America") Turns out I was right. Turns out this "man of faith" forgot to acknowledge God. OOOOOPS. So I went online this morning, and found this great article that I'm posting here for you to read. But before I paste that article, I just want to say that no matter who's in office in any given setting, God is in charge. Not the man or woman in the seat. So as Christians, worrying about the next 4 years with Obama is in a sense saying that you don't think God is bigger than any of this. So don't worry. God is sovereign, and is the ultimate authority. And if you really are that worried, go ahead and read Psalm 2. It should comfort you. Anyway, here's the article: (i didn't write it)
what i say next may not strike a chord with you. i would first like to admit that i am neither perfect, nor know-it-all. i give my views as a young Christian, non-American citizen, but as one who is concerned about the faith of the next US president.
i thought whoever wrote obama's victory speech was brilliant. hopefully it was him who did it himself. he made the speech very well, with the charisma that a rightful US president should have. george bush wouldn't have pulled that off.
however, as a Christian, i am surprised that he never thanked or mentioned God at all, in his victory speech. i would have at least acknowledged God for sustaining me throughout the long campaign, giving me strength, thanked God for protection, answered prayers, etc. the only mention of God in his speech was in the final line, a cursory "Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America."
when King David was king of Israel, he displayed rightly that he was indeed a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22).
As has happened with so many of the great, David's success was focused too heavily on material gains, and it corrupted him. His committing of adultery with Bathsheba, and the murder of her husband Uriah in an attempt to cover it up was perhaps the darkest event of his life. David truly repented of it, and God did forgive him.
my greatest concern is his theology. When Franklin Graham asked Obama recently how, as a Christian, he could reconcile New Testament claims that salvation was attainable only through Christ with a campaign that embraces pluralism and diversity, Obama tells NEWSWEEK he said:
"It is a precept of my Christian faith that my redemption comes through Christ, but I am also a big believer in the Golden Rule, which I think is an essential pillar not only of my faith but of my values and my ideals and my experience here on Earth. I've said this before, and I know this raises questions in the minds of some evangelicals. I do not believe that my mother, who never formally embraced Christianity as far as I know … I do not believe she went to hell."
Graham, he said, was very gracious in reply. Should Obama beat John McCain, he has history on his side. Presidents such as Lincoln and Jefferson were unorthodox Christians; and, according to a Pew Forum survey, 70 percent of Americans agree with the statement that "many religions can lead to eternal life." "My particular set of beliefs," Obama says, "may not be perfectly consistent with the beliefs of other Christians." (source: newsweek)
i think it will take a man of courage and absolute faith and conviction to run as a presidential candidate, and to say things like "only Christ leads to heaven". he is not acting as an evangelical. he has to be the president of USA for christians, muslims, buddhists, atheists etc, and it isn't entirely heartening to know your Christian president thinks you're going to hell, even if that might be true. he has to be diplomatic. yea i know, the fundamental will say, would you rather offend God or offend men? pastors and evangelicals can criticize national leaders for all they want, but they are not in the kind of spotlight and position of power and responsibility that God places them in. they have to be clear about their personal religion and convictions, and not imposing them on the people they are serving.
how about obama's personal walk with Christ. from what is reported, it seems pretty good.
Nevertheless, his spiritual life on the campaign trail survives. He says he prays every day, typically for "forgiveness for my sins and flaws, which are many, the protection of my family, and that I'm carrying out God's will, not in a grandiose way, but simply that there is an alignment between my actions and what he would want." He sometimes reads his Bible in the evenings, a ritual that "takes me out of the immediacy of my day and gives me a point of reflection." Thanks to the efforts of his religious outreach team, he has an army of clerics and friends praying for him and e-mailing him snippets of Scripture or Midrash to think about during the day.
i think all American christians and christians around the world should pray for their leaders in power. they do so at our church during the pastoral/family prayer time when the pastor leads an often long but detailed prayer. pray that God will guide them and help them stay on the straight and narrow path. pray that God will grant them wisdom to deal with the affairs of this dying world. pray that they be used by God for His glory and His glory alone.
That at one point on this website, I had a little comic going called "Clonetrooper Bob". My friend Mike Ward and I created it, and did 5 comics. It was pretty funny. You should click the link at the top to check them out.
So anyway tonight I googled "Clontetrooper Bob" and to my amazement, found a Wikipedia entry (here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Clone_trooper_bob) for him, and two youtube videos starring Bob. (here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTZMTIIM-4A and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyVWXOMcXN4)
Apparently some kid named Danny Mendoza liked CTB so much that he decided to keep it going. Good job Danny. I'm honored. And I'm sure Mike is too.
I love my sister Cydney. I think she's smart, funny and pretty. She has the same birthday as me, December 6th, and will be 9 this year. She lives in Reno, and likes going to Circus Circus. When she grows up I think she's going to be a Veterinarian. If I had a picture of her that was recent, I'd put it here. :) Well, now I do.
That picture isn't part of the story, I just wanted to put a pic up from Halloween. As you can see, Nicki went as a 1920's hottie, Kayla was Ariel, Brielle was Danger Baby (you can't see the Danger Baby emblem under my hand) and I went as Ricky Borba.
Anyway, back to my little story right now. Usually Brielle goes to bed with absolutely no problem. We take her up there, put her down, give her a sippy cup, pray, and then leave the room. Boom. She's asleep in like 5 minutes. But for the second time today, I put her down and she started screaming bloody murder. And since the first time she screamed bloody murder was around 4pm, nap time, I just decided to let her get back up and play until she just couldn't keep herself awake anymore.
That time happened to be right around 6:30. She was beat. So again, I took her up, went through the routine, then left the room. And again, she started screaming bloody murder. So I let her cry for about 10 minutes until I couldn't take it anymore, and went back in her room. I picked her up, put her in my arms, and for the first time in about 9 or 10 months, I rocked her to sleep. I don't know why I was so moved by it this time, but when I laid her back down and saw that she was asleep and so peaceful, I just felt like her "dad". I wrote a similar story about 2 years ago on here, about how I felt like Kayla's "dad" for the first time when I rocker her to sleep. It's just something about them falling asleep on my chest, trusting me, feeling safe. It's beautiful.
Now she's up in her crib, out like a light. I am so blessed to have my beautiful healthy girls. I'm really going to miss them for 3 weeks when I go to Africa. I'm not even sure I'll have internet access out there, so it is forseeable that I am going to go 3 weeks without seeing my girls at all, in any way. I don't plan on bringing my phone or laptop, and even if Nicki wrote me a letter or somehting, it'd probably take 3 weeks to get there. I guess I'll just have to make a little picture book to take with me.
Anyway, in conclusion, I think I'm going to rock my girls to sleep more often. The blessing in disguise was that Brielle was not herself today, and I had to go in there and rock her to sleep, in case you were wondering why I titled this post "Blessing in disguise".