The year was 1987. It was a cold January night. Beastie Boys had just come out with their new album. The rest is modern day history. That is me on the left and my cousin Keven on the right. Please appreciate my dance moves.
My life-threatening experience at Taco Bell last night...
Here's the normal transaction that happens when I go to Taco Bell:
Taco Bell Guy: Hi can I take your order please? Me: Yeah I'll have a taco, a burrito and a medium Mountain Dew. TBG: Is that all? Me: Yeah. TBG: That'll be $4.23. Me: Great. (Hand over my debit card) TBG: Thanks. You're order number is 187. I grab my food moments later. The end.
Here's what happened last night at 6:19PM, that resulted in me placing a call to 1-800-Taco-Bell to report it. (I've never ever done that sort of thing, so I felt like a whistle blower. But whatever)
And in order for you to REALLY understand the absurdity and ridiculousness of this story, please keep in mind that I was holding my 17-month old daughter Kayla in my arm the ENTIRE time.
Gabrial, the Taco Bell Guy: (Says nothing. Just looks at me and waits for me to start ordering)
Me: Hi. I'd like a double decker taco. A taco supreme. A combo burrito without sauce or...
Gabrial: (Cutting me off. Turns around and starts yelling at the 50 year-old asian female co-worker making all of the food) I don't even know how to take stuff off a burrito! Where's the remove button?! (He then looks back at me)
Me: A 7-layer burrito, (then I look up at the menu at the Nacho's Bell Grande picture)(I was ordering for Nicki and I, that's why it was so much food). And Nacho's Bell Grande, but all I want is beans, meat and cheese on them.
Gabrial: Man I don't even know what comes ON Nacho's Bell Grande. How do you expect me to know what to take off?
Me: (Looking at the picture again) I think all you have to take off is the sour cream and tomatoes.
Gabrial: (Turns around again to yell at his co-worker again about having to remove something from an item.) Is that it?
Me: Yeah, I think so. Hey Gabrial, are you having a bad day buddy? I'm in no rush. Just take your time.
Gabrial:That'll be $9.52.
I hand him my card. He runs it through the card swiper then asks to see my I.D. So I take it out and hand it to him. He looks at it for about 10 seconds then literally throws it at me.
Gabrial: That ain't no real ID. Your picture is too big. I KNOW what ID's look like, that's fake man.
Me: Are you serious right now? That's real. Trust me.
Gabrial: No it ain't.
(The manager then comes over and verifies it's real. Then she tells Gabrial it's real. At that same moment, my receipt prints, completing my transaction. Gabrial hands me my receipt and says
Gabrial: Yeah that's what I thought. (As he's looking at me like he wants to throw down)
So I stared at him for a bit and shook my head. Then the lady handed me my food.
Gabrial: YOU GOT THAT? WHAT NOW?
The end.
So I drove home, almost laughing because of how ridiculous he was. But at the same time thinking about how I could have lunged over the counter, kicked him in the face, then poured cheese, guacamole, sour cream and hot sauce all over his face while I continued to pummel him. Moral of the story, if you're going to the Taco Bell on Driscoll in Fremont, be careful.
I created a Facebook Profile. It's at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=560294622. I'm such a newb. I don't even know how to add friends. I need to be schooled on Facebook. People are using it for job networking and stuff like that, and I was told to get on there from a few people in the video game and independent film industry, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I "poked" a few people on Facebook, and I don't even know what that means. And I'm not even entirely sure you can view my profile if you're not on Facebook. What a mess. Someone help me please.
I used to watch "The New Newlywed Game" a lot as a kid. I don't know why. But I did. And Bob Barker always used to say "Please be more specific", but I thought he said "Please be more pacific". So I used to go around asking people to be more pacific when I didn't understand them.
On the game show theme, my family always wanted to be on Family Feud. I guess I was around 13 or so, and being somewhat of a really smart person, they said that they wanted me to be on with them. I told them all no though, because I thought at the end, when they showed the winning family and the credits, that the credits were actually physically on you and that they hurt. Guess I wasn't so smart after all.
Wow, again with the TV theme. My Grandfather lived with us for a while when I was around 8 years old and he watched reruns of 3's Company every night. I told him one night that I was really impressed that everyone (the actors) always had something really funny to say and that it was neat that they made a show everyday. My grandfather then explained what "acting" and "lines" were.
Road signs often have arrows pointing left and right. Some have arrows pointing up. I used to think that when a sign had an up arrow it meant you had to drive in the sky.
It's not that the game is revolutionary or anything, or even ground-breaking with it's graphics and gameplay. No, the thing that makes this game incredible, is what Bungie (the makers of the game) has done with multi-player statistics and scoring. With the advent of the current generation consoles, stats and achievements have become a staple in online and offline gaming. On the XBOX 360, you have what is called as a "gamer score". What that consists of is all of the "achievements" you earn while playing games. So instead of just going through a game and scoring points, you actually earn awards for things like "Completing Level 1", "Defeating the boss without dying", and so on. The gamer score in and of itself is really cool, but Halo 3 takes it to stratospheric type levels. Not only can you earn the standard game achievements like "Headshot Honcho" and "Killing Spree", but online at bungie.net is an extremely comprehensive stat sheet.
Here is the first screenshot, telling me my basic stats, and what my character looks like.
As you delve further into your stats, you can check every single multiplayer match you've been in, and how you fared. From the person you killed most, how long your average life was, weapon you used most, awards you earned, and things like that. It also has a map of where you made your kills, and where you were killed. Here's a screenshot of that nonsense. Notice all of the 1st place finishes, by the way.
You can also go to another section and check your combat stats. Which weapon you've used most, and which awards you've received the most. I have walked up to people and beat them down with the butt of my gun more than any other method to kill. Machine gun is a distant second, but I'm proud that throwing a "sticky" grenade (which literally sticks to an opponent then explodes) is third. It's my favorite way to kill.
Anyway, my point here people is this: Halo 3 is pretty incredible. It's extremely addicting just because it's a fun game to begin with. But with the ability to see all of your detailed stats on bungie.net (and there are a ton more stats that I didn't even talk about here) it takes the word "addicting" to another level. Thank God I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so much, because they're quick and easy to make, allowing me to spend more time with my new baby, Halo 3.
Oh, and Brielle is pretty neat too. But Halo 3 doesn't poop every 30 minutes and cry when I don't pay attention to it, or wake me up 6 to 10 times a night.
You're right. And just yesterday I was thinking to myself, "You're doing a lot of complaining on your blog lately. Lock it up.". So without further ado, (which is an idiom for "without anymore delay") here are some things I really LIKE right now. In no particular order:
The way Kayla is with Brielle. Brielle's little baby breath. Halo 3 Having my house in a mostly clean state. The new season of The Office My Church My Family That it's starting to get dark out around 5:30 Mornings that Kayla wakes up with me and we get to hang before I leave for work. Thinking about living in Lincoln Football season is in full swing My little sister Cydney That my arms are sore from working out yesterday
I'm wrapping this up now because I have to leave for work. I'm tempted to go for the easy joke here and say how much I hate that I'm about to go to work, but I won't.
I've been up since 3:45 because Brielle decided to cry non-stop last night. I went to bed at 9:30 because I wanted to get a good start on the week, even though I normally don't go to bed until around 11. But since she cried all night, which woke me up no less than 5 times, I decided after laying there for 20 minutes, to get up at 4:05 and go swim. Welp, the gym doesn't open until 5am on Mondays, so I rode the stationary bike here at home for a half hour, then worked out with some dumbbells and did sit ups after that. I'm so frustrated and tired right now that I don't know what to do.
I have a lot of anxiety about going back to work tomorrow.
I hate my job. And I mean that in every sense of the word. Hate. Hate is defined as to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest. I intensely dislike the type of work I do. Sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours a day is a death sentence to a guy like me. I have extreme aversion for most of the people I have to do work for (the franchisees), and I think starting tomorrow I'll start acting hostile towards my co-workers. (Just kidding. I still remain pleasant despite the fact that I hate my job). What makes tomorrow worse than your normal Monday, is that I will now be leaving TWO babies at home. I'm really depressed about it, and I wish I had more time than the week that I just had off (although I am VERY thankful that I at least had that week). I can't wait to move to Sacramento and leave everything about the bay area (except my grandmother and church) behind.
Also, I'm going to start swimming again tomorrow. I'm going to get up at 5:45 and swim 45 minutes a day. There are a lot of reasons why, so here are the main ones. Right now I am the heaviest I've ever been, at 172 pounds. When just 3 years ago I was down to 148. Years from now I want my girls to look at pictures of me and say "Wow Dad you looked bigger back then", not "Wow Dad you used to be so skinny back then". I also just want to start looking better. Now with the lack of sleep I'm getting, and having to work more, I've developed some pretty poor eating and exercise habits. Thank God I have an extremely high metabolism, because I should weigh a TON more than I do right now. So I just want to start working out and eating better so the dark circles under my eyes aren't so prominent.
Man I really hate that I have to go to work tomorrow. Maybe I will be hostile....
And I'm not sure if it's from lack of water, lack of sleep, Kayla and Brielle being on opposite schedules, or all 3. But it won't stop. I feel like I'm living in an altered state of consciousness. Everything is moving reaaaaaaaaaaaaally slow, it's taking me a few seconds to process thoughts before I say or do things, and there are moments during the day when I get so frustrated and tired that I have to stop dead in my tracks and compose myself. I normally would already hate going back to work on a Monday, but this Monday is going to be especially tough. I don't forsee myself getting much sleep before then, and if I feel any worse than I already do right now, they might just fire me.
This is the most tired I've ever been in my entire life. And yet, I just cannot bring myself to go to bed at 6pm. Maybe it's because I think I'm a tough guy or something, or maybe it's because I feel like I have so much to catch up on from being in the hospital with Brielle the last 5 days.
Nicki and I got to the hospital Thursday night, so when we left this morning, we were on day 6. All of my nights and days are completely messed up in my head right now, but here are a few of the high and lowlights that I can remember:
Brielle being born was the most emotional thing I've ever been through. And seeing her actually be born was incredible. I didn't actually see Kayla being born, because of the way the delivery went with Nicki. And for those who know the story, you know what I'm talking about. So this was actually the first time I'd seen a delivery. It's emotional. I am so lucky.
Nicki and I got into two arguments during the insomnia-5-day-marathon that encompassed Brielle and her Jaundice. Why bring that up? Well, because neither one of us remember what we were arguing about. We can only remember being upset with each other. It's hard being in a room smaller than a walk-in closet for 5 days by yourself, let alone with your newborn in a lightbox undergoing jaundice treatment, and your wife who just gave birth hours before. It was a trying experience. The dark bags and circles under my eyes are so prominent that it looks like I'm wearing eyeshadow after getting stung by a bee.
God was on my side for the parking though. Every single time without exception, and we're talking at least 15 times that I had to park my car after leaving the hospital, a spot would either be open, or someone would just be pulling out right in the front row, as close to the hospital as you can get. Mine and Nicki's parents had to park a block away at times.
I fell asleep on the first night with Brielle in my arms, before she had to start the treatment. That was pretty special. I don't get to do that with Kayla because anytime I put her in my arms, she thinks it's playtime. Which is fine. I like her. We can play.
The 3rd time (and correspondingly the 3rd day) in a row that they came in to tell us Brielle's Jaundice level hadn't gone down and we were going to have to stay the night, was like the knockout punch in a heavyweight fight. I couldn't keep it together anymore. Maybe it wouldn't have been so difficult to accept had I gotten more than 3 seconds of sleep in the previous 3 nights, but that was hard.
On the flipside of that, when the doctor came in this morning to tell us we could go home felt like someone told us we'd won the lottery. I packed that hospital room faster than (some clever comparison of speed that I can't think of right now because I'm not even aware I'm writing this).
Yesterday I had to fill out a form at the hospital and I forgot my name. Then once I remembered my name, I forgot how to write the letter "S". I had to get a separate piece of paper and practice first. I drew a 5 first. Seriously. That's how drained I am. Also on Sunday I woke up in the middle of the night and had no idea where I was, or what the name of Nicki, Kayla or Brielle was. I was totally discombobulated. Wow, spellcheck didn't underline discombobulated, but it underlined spellcheck. Now THAT is irony.
If you're the praying type, we could use them. We're inducing labor tonight at 8pm, so pray for a speedy delivery and that Nicki and Brielle will be happy and healthy. :) I'd honestly rather have a busboy at Denny's throw a wet sponge at my face then have to watch Nicki go through labor again, so pray this time goes faster and smoother than the last.
It has to do with being able to tell the difference between real life, and the current generation of video games. I got a 9 out of 14 on that quiz. Which means video games are becoming increasingly more life-like. Good for them. So I thought I'd come up with my own quiz. See if you can tell the difference between real life, and video games. CIRCA 1988.
Dear Friends and Family, I turn 30 in less than two months.
And that's what I want for my birthday. The PANASONIC TH-50PX75U 50" PLASMA HDTV. It's reasonably priced, and the picture quality is nothing short of spectacular. I would be able to solve world hunger if I had that TV. I spend a lot of lunch breaks window shopping at Best Buy, Wal-Mart and various other hella cool stores like that. Best Buy is by far the best place to do that kind of shopping though, because they have about 50 TV's all on one huge wall, playing the same video.
Turning 30 is a big deal. And I think I should be rewarded by acquiring that TV. It's just something to keep in mind ok people? My birthday is December 6th, so you have a good two months to call Nicki on her cell, or email her at iamcinderella@comcast.net to figure out the logistics.
1. Ray Lewis almost killed me yesterday. 2. I almost got thrown out of the stadium yesterday.
Flashback 10 years ago. I was a wide-eyed 19 year-old kid, trying to make my way in the world by interning at KTVU channel 2. It was January. The 49ers were one win away from their 6th Super Bowl appearance. When I showed up at channel 2 that day, I was told to grab the rain gear and go with Steve (a cameraman at Channel 2) and be his assistant on the sideline for the NFC Championship game. The job of an assistant is easy. When an exciting has taken place, your job is to write down the actual time of day, and also the timecode of the camera. Simple. Easy. It should also be noted that when you get to "work" the sidelines of a game, you not only get the standard press pass that I've mentioned in the past, but you also get a shoulder pauldron and a "press jersey". You are CLEARLY marked, so the sideline security team knows you're legit.
Looking young has been a blessing to me 99.99% of my life. Except that day. One of the 49er sideline security people is named Dee. She is a beast of a woman. She stands about 5'5", dark hair, hairy mole on her upper lip, and has a slight hunch in her back. She is the epitome of evil. That day 10 years ago Steve had asked me to RUN back to his camera bag and get a new battery for his camera. So I did just that. I ran to the Giants dugout (Don't get confused now. The 49ers play where the Giants used to. And all of the press keep their stuff in the old Giants dugout). As I was running to the dugout, fully credentialed and in my "jersey", Dee stopped me and asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was working for channel 2 and that I was getting a new battery for the camera man. Dee told me that I didn't belong on the sidelines, and that I needed to leave the field immediately. Long story short, she threw me off the field. I think I found a seat in the stands and watched the rest of the game from there. I think. I was so traumatized that I don't really remember anymore.
Now fast forward to yesterday. I'm standing on the sidelines fully credentialed AGAIN. (Minus the "jersey", because I wasn't "working" the sidelines) I was standing by the visiting team tunnel, waiting for some of the Baltimore Ravens to come out so I could snap some pictures of them. Which by the way, is perfectly acceptable and allowed. I REALLY wanted to get a picture of Ray Lewis, the all-pro linebacker and murderer. I stood off to the side with my camera out, and as soon as Ray came out of the tunnel he spotted me. So he RAN over to me, JUMPED in front of my camera and screamed "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". I thought he was going to stab me. I clicked the camera to take the picture but I was so nervous/excited/scared I was going to be stabbed, that I didn't hold the button down long enough, and I didn't get the picture. Ray Lewis jumped in front of my camera to give me the picture of a lifetime, and I blew it.
So guess who came over to me right after Ray Lewis ran by me. My old friend Dee. The sideline security nazi. She grabbed my be the arm and said "That's it you're outta here." And before I could even process what was happening, I was having flashbacks of 1998 when she threw me out the the last time. So I stopped walking and said "Wait, what's going on right now?" She said "You ran in front of a player to take his picture. I'm escorting you off the field". I said "No I didn't, Ray Lewis came over to ME. I was standing in place. Ask anyone that was around me. Look at my credentials, I have a right to take pictures." So she looked at my pass and said "Fine, but you better not do that again. And you should be in the press box anyway." Which is BS by the way. You're allowed to be on the field until KICKOFF. We were a good 20 minutes away from kickoff. She was just being a succubus. In 10 years, the woman has only become more evil. I was just glad she decided to leave me alone after I explained it to her.
Anyway, I didn't get the picture of Ray Lewis I wanted, but I did get this one. Murderer.
Apparently this little website of mine was popular enough for someone to have registered www.borabfett.com. I do get over 3000 unique visitors a month, ya know....
Doctors are going to give Nicki some drugs in order to get Brielle to come out next Thursday. Or you could read that as "We're going to induce labor on Thursday".
Nicki went to the doctor yesterday and is still dilated to one, and Brielle is still in the same position she was in two weeks ago. So unless she decides to come on her own before Thursday, that's the day we're going to induce. The doctor wanted to schedule an appointment to "break the membrane" on Monday, but I was like, "Hey wait a minute. The membrane is probably there for a reason, and we're not in a rush, so we'll be keeping our membrane, thanks." Besides, the way the woman at my office described it, it sounds like a torturing method more than anything else. She said (I'm paraphrasing here a little) "The doctor basically sticks his hands up your wifes vag, and run circles around the placenta in order to break the membrane and get the process going." After thinking about it, the thought of Nicki sitting there with someones hands all up in her vajayjay, rubbing in a circular motion around the uterus, doesn't sound like fun. No membrane breakage for us.
Here's proof of my score in case you think I'm a liar.
See how it says "most people see you as genius". I think the people who decide NOT TO recognize me as a genius are just jealous that they got a lower score than I did. Either that, or they're ugly. And we all know God hates ugly.
Also, I'd like to start implementing something. Adding "fest '07" at the end of your phrases is hilarious. And I for one am going to start using it all the time. For example, instead of saying "Work sucked today", I'll be saying "It was suckfest '07 at work today". You could also use it in other scenarios, such as "Dinner was gourmetfest '07 tonight", or "My underarms are stinkfest '07 right now".
If you think about it, boobs are like one of God's most well rounded creations. Here's why.
#1. They're fun to play with. Amen? Amen. #2. They're soft. Who doesn't like soft? I know I do. #3. At various points in a woman's life, they provide nutrition. And we all need nutrition. #4. They come in various shapes and sizes. Guys need variation. So it's good that all boobs are different. #5. There's two of them. Guys also like to have more than one of something cool. Boobs are definitely cool, so it's awesome that there are two of them. Unless you had a mastectomy. But one is still better than none. #6. They can serve as a pillow if needed. Guys get tired a lot because we work all day while our wives stay home and do nothing. So it's kinda nice that we can use boobs as a pillow. #7. Guys can get a condition called gynecomastia and grow their own boobs if they need to. But this is only to be done in case of an emergency. Such as being single longer than 3 weeks.
I'm sure there a lot of other great, cool and awesome things about boobs. So go ahead and leave comments, adding to the list if you'd like.
I'm super exhausted right now. I might not even remember posting this later...
Here are some things I want:
1. A home workout gym. I just don't have the time for driving to the gym before or after work. If we didn't have kids it'd be different, because I wouldn't feel bad about going after work. But the #1 thing I look forward to in my day is two fold. First, I look forward to 5 o'clock like a drug addict looks forward to their next fix. And secondly and more importantly, I look forward to about 5:27pm. That's about the time I get home. I love seeing Kayla's reaction when I walk in the door.
2. A new job. I hate this job. With a passion. For multiple reasons. First, because the actual job sucks. Information Technology. It sucks. It's boring. It has zero creativity to it. I'm also not that big a fan of most of our franchisees. They complain a lot and have a "I'm the only person in existence" attitude. Another thing that's unappealing about this type of work is that sitting at a desk all day makes you gain weight. This is the most I've ever weighed in my life. I need to move around. I probably burn 3 calories a day sitting here.
3. To move. I can't wait to get out of the bay area and start fresh. It's going to be nice when Nicki is working, and I'm not responsible for earning every single penny we bring in. I never wents to college, so I's don't makes a tons of money. So as soon as Nicki starts working, I'll be able to start doing the things that I'm passionate about, as my work. Namely, making films, editing, acting, and stuff like that. Plus, being closer to family and in a city in which we can afford to live in will be nice too. It's really hard to stay above water here in the bay area. Especially on my $50k a year. Of which I earn by doing 3 jobs.
4. The 49ers offense to get going. Their defense is playing great. But their defense is on the field too much because the offense completely sucks. I've decided I'm not a fan of Alex Smith. He's done nothing in his 3 years to excite me. Tony Romo is in his 10th start or something like that, and he looks like an all-pro. There are plenty of other new QB's that look a lot better than Alex Smith too. He just doesn't have "it" in my opinion. We should be 0-4 right now. We're very lucky to be 2-2. But at least we weren't expected to be great this year anyway. I'd hate to be an Eagles, Rams, Chargers or Saints fan right now. Yikes. Awkward.
5. Brielle. If this little girl doesn't decide to come soon, I'm going to reach up there and pull her out myself. Take this test. I got 7 wrong.
