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Sunday, July 30, 2006
Why I don't understand camping.
Written By Ricky Borba

I live in a house. It's not the biggest house in the world, but it's a very nice house. In my house I have; running water, two bathrooms, a shower, a big tv, my computer, the internet, a lot of video games, air conditioning, a nice comfortable bed, a refrigerator, a backyard, a front yard, carpet, windows, a nice stereo, all my stuff is unpacked and in it's own place, and a lot of other nice things that I can't even think of right now.

Why would I want to go camping? Why for that matter, would anyone want to go camping? When you go camping, you do not get; running water, bathrooms (outhouses and public bathrooms do not count as bathrooms, so stop), showers, tv, computer, the internet, video games, air conditioning, a nice comfortable bed, a refrigerator, a backyard, a front yard, carpet, windows, and a nice stereo.

Here's what you get instead of those things when you go camping; A stupid tent that either gets way too cold inside because it's cold outside, or it gets way too hot inside because it's hot outside, a sleeping bag that again has no air filtration system, a kink in your back from sleeping on dirt because the only thing separating you from the dirt is a centimeter thick piece of nylon that is your tent, smelly clothes, awakening at the butt crack of dawn because everyone who camps has a secret unspoken contest with each other to see who can get up the earliest and start cooking bacon, long boring stupid walks on dirt roads just to get to an outhouse, dirt everywhere, someone inevitably whipping out their guitar and singing acoustic love songs around a campfire all night, guys who think it's cool to go days on end without showering, having to pack and unpack the stuff you bring from your house, and plenty of other atrocities that I can't even think of.

So in conclusion, I will not be going camping. Ever. Not with my family, not with friends, not if someone would give me a million dollars to do so. Camping is dumb. There is absolutely no reason for it whatsoever. None. The fact that camping even exists is a question I am going to ask God when I get to heaven. I'm pretty sure he laughs everytime some family decides to pack up the bags and head for a weekend of the great outdoors. Buying a cabin somewhere and having it furnished with it's own set of household items is the only way I would ever even consider leaving my house to go "camping".
posted by Ricky @ 9:22 PM  
  • At 7/30/2006 10:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    How do you enjoy God's greatest creations of nature from your house? Do you get to smell the fresh moutain air from your couch? It's ashame that you do not want to honor God's great creations. He did not create them for you to sit in your recliner and watch it on your TV. Be one with nature and walk the land as Jesus did. WWJD?

  • At 7/31/2006 07:31:00 AM, Anonymous beth said…

    An air mattress may help.....

  • At 7/31/2006 09:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OH I compleeeeeeeeeeetely agree (yes it needs all the e's) my husband not only loves camping he BACKPACKS who the hell wants to walk miles and miles with a baby on her back for me and a bunch of crap on his to go camping??? Out of his mind if you ask me :)

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