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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Dear Kayla and Brielle,

I love you both so much. I could have never imagined how deeply and strongly that love was like, until I watched you come into this world and held you both after you were born. I hope that even at your early ages, you know that your father loves you with all of his hear, mind and soul. I'd do anything for you, anything.

Kayla, before you were born I wrote about 10 letters to you. I had planned on giving them to you between the ages of 16 and 18. I wrote down my feelings on how excited, scared and blessed I was to have been given the gift of becoming your father. I wrote down what I was doing, literally at that moment. I specifically remember one of the sentences being "Jango just came in here and licked my arm. He's a funny dog". I put pictures of your mother and I in the letters, and just spoke my mind and my heart. Then a funny thing happened. My computer had a loss of data. The "funny" thing was, was that all of the data it lost was confined to about 11 months. Beginning in September of 2005 through April of 2006. Unfortunately, those were the 7 months that I had written your letters in. Bottom line is, they are gone baby gone. I tried for months to get the data back, but I couldn't. I paid for software, and went on just about every message board and website I could to find a solution. Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to know I had some pretty neat letters for you to read.

So now you're 2 years old. You're up in your princess room right now sleeping. Today you were a brat. A REAL brat. I don't know if you were tired (which might be the case, considering when we got home from running errands at 5pm, we put you down and you're STILL asleep at 9pm). But you drove your mother and I crazy today. You kept stealing your sisters pacifier in the car, you screamed almost the entire time we were in Wal-Mart, and all you said all day was "I don't WANT to do that." You're funny. My mom tells me that you're EXACTLY like how I was at that age. Ornery as hell. I deserve it I guess. You're hilarious. My little Kayla monster. You bring so much joy and laughter to my life. I think you're going to grow up and be an intelligent leader. A woman who helps others. You help mom and I so much with Brielle. You've loved her since the second you saw her. And here's the proof. This was minutes after she was born.

Brielle. My little me face. Even though you're a girl, I feel like every time I watch you, I'm watching myself as a baby. YOU BRIELLE, ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT. And I mean that in the nicest way. By the time you're reading this, you're probably aware of the fact that you were born with Jaundis, adding about a kajillion dollars to the cost of your birth, and that you swallowed a batter, costing us about another bajillion dollars from the ambulance ride, and hospital stay where they took the battery out of your stomach. But the most tiring part of being your dad, is that you crawl everywhere you're not supposed to crawl, play with everything you're not supposed to, put EVERYTHING you find on the ground in your mouth, and you have horrible sleeping habits. Just horrible. You make your mother and I very tired by looking after you. You're just a free spirit that has no regard for your own safety, or the safety of others. ;) The funniest thing about you though, is that you do EVERYTHING with a huge smile. You think everything that you do (the things you're not supposed to) is funny. You climb up the stairs when we're not looking, and then when we catch up to you, you turn around and smile. You crawl and attack the dogs, turning around to smile at us while you do it. You are rarely sad, and you only cry when you're either hungry, hurt or tired.

Tonight you and I had the whole house to ourselves, because your mom was gone and Kayla was sleeping. You were absolutely precious. In the past week, you've started talking gibberish, which is very entertaining. And you've also started mimicking our hand movements and gestures. Two thing you did today though, made me fall in love with you more than I did yesterday. The first thing you did was a moment I'll never forget. I was feeding you a bottle in my arms, and you reached out with your little hand and stroked my face. And it wasn't just a random thing, you actually kept your hand up there and traced the contours of my face for a while. You knew exactly what you were doing. I was very moved. The second thing you did was just as cute. I sat you in your high chair while I prepared little tiny chicken nuggets for you. After I put all the little pieces on your tray, I sat right in front of you and watched you eat. You were starving, and started shoving as many of them into your mouth as could fit. And then Brielle, you picked one up and put it to my face. I was kind of confused. But you opened your mouth. So I opened my mouth. And then you put the little piece of chicken nugget into my mouth. You were feeding daddy. It was unbelievable. I almost started crying. At 11 months, you already understand so much. You fed me one more piece of chicken, and then you wanted to get down. We played for a little while longer, then I put you to bed.

Girls, I love being your father. It's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. There is nothing else on this Earth I was made more for, than to be your father. It has taught me the real definition of love, devotion, sacrifice and care. I know as the years go by, you're each going to resent me because I'm not going to allow you to be like all of your schoolmates and dress, say and do the things most of them are going to be allowed to dress, talk and do. You're not going to understand that I love you enough to raise you with morals, respect for others and respect for yourself. When I married your mother and we decided (from the second we knew we were going to get married) that we wanted children, I promised myself that I would raise you like children in this country used to be raised.

Every night before I go to bed I go in your rooms and check on you. No matter how late it is or how tired I am. Sometimes I just stare at each of you and thank God for the wonderful gift that is YOU. You're my heaven on Earth.

posted by Ricky @ 8:39 PM

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